1
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:01,560
You can throw a fast one.
2
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,560
How about it, kitten?
What's the chance of a bit tonight?
3
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,800
Oh, why, yes, of course, boys.
4
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:20,880
I'll leave the front door open,
and you can all troop in and give me a jab.
5
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,080
Not up to it, then?
6
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:27,840
You innocent, shovel-wielding,
horny-handed sons of the native sod.
7
00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,800
Not many people are, munchkin.
8
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,880
Not many people can take the tale
of Patrick Braden...
9
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,680
a.k.a. Saint Kitten...
10
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:40,920
who strutted the catwalks,
face lit by a halo of flashbulbs...
11
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:44,440
as, "Oh!" she shrieked,
"I told you, from my best side, darlings."
12
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,480
I was born, you see, munchkin...
13
00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,360
in a small town near the Irish border.
14
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,680
I was left in a basket on a certain doorstep...
15
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,680
and only the robins knew why.
16
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,040
Oh, but then,
they knew everybody's business.
17
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,640
Those red-breasted busybodies.
18
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:06,240
Every secret
behind every lace-curtain window.
19
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,920
Uh-oh, behind you
20
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,800
This looks like trouble
21
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:43,280
Oh dear!
22
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:46,920
Let's go
23
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,960
Robins! Would you believe it, Father?
Pecking at the cream.
24
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,520
I suppose it's Christmas morning, after all.
25
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,640
Is your breakfast all right?
26
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,520
Well, I'll get ready for Mass, so. God bless.
27
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:48,680
God bless.
28
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,800
He hasn't been himself lately, so.
29
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:03,000
-No, he hasn't been himself at all...
-Since the blonde housekeeper left
30
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:07,000
The one that looked like the film star...
with the bubble-cut curls
31
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,120
Mitzi Gaynor!
32
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,200
-Just the job.
-Mr. Steed?
33
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,160
-Cutex coral pink.
-Yes.
34
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,880
What a charming atmosphere you have here.
35
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,480
-Do you mind?
-Not at all.
36
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,120
-Thank you.
-Will you have a love seat?
37
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:34,720
The love seat? Why not?
38
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:40,120
Mr. Lovejoy will see you in a moment.
39
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,480
He's just congratulating
one of our happy couples.
40
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,280
-How very encouraging.
-Yes.
41
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,520
Perhaps you'd like a glass of champers?
42
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,000
-Champers? Now you're talking.
-Or...
43
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,680
-a piece of wedding cake?
-No, thank you. I've just had breakfast.
44
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,080
Mr. Steed?
45
00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:00,360
My good shoes!
My good shoes, you little brat!
46
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,200
Do it harder, Mammy.
Teach him not to wear my dress again.
47
00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,600
He'll make a disgrace of us? Well, you'll not!
48
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,040
Do you really have to?
49
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:10,280
I'll march you up and down the street
and disgrace you in front of the whole town.
50
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:11,280
Promise?
51
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,720
Hit him with it, Ma!
Give him the brush again!
52
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,680
-Say, "I am not a girl."
-I'm not a girl.
53
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,640
-"I am a boy. I'm not a girl."
-I'm a boy, not a girl.
54
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:19,840
Say it right.
55
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,080
Make him say it right, Ma.
56
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,400
My heart broke
from the cursed day I ever took you in.
57
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,480
A short one by Gareth Carey,
up along the far wing to Tony Haddon.
58
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:30,920
Tony Haddon, 40 yards out now, from the....
59
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,240
Off he goes then,
the ball across him towards the center.
60
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:35,200
And coming, Alfred Whitney.
He's capped there.
61
00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:37,240
Well down over his eyes is Nick Brady.
62
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:38,920
The ball comes over.
Who's got it? Reid Morgan.
63
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,400
Reid Morgan gets the 35-yard....
64
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,760
Brother Barnabas says he'll try you
on the football team...
65
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,400
and I want you to read this.
66
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,600
Heading high and to the right,
and yes, it is....
67
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,560
It's gone over the bar
for the first goal of the game.
68
00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:50,960
Paddy Gardy.
69
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,840
The first goal of the game.
Paddy Gardy took one from this side.
70
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:59,400
It had a curl on it, and one had to wait
until the umpires gave their decision...
71
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,240
as to whether it was in or not. It was.
72
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,560
And I call my mother names.
73
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:05,400
Well, you know,
you shouldn't do that, my son.
74
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:07,400
What do you call her?
75
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,000
Hairy Arse.
76
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:14,000
Hairy Arse and Bockedy Hole.
And Cunthooks.
77
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,320
-Stay where you are! You must not proceed.
-Jesus!
78
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:30,840
You must not curse.
If you curse, you'll be exterminated.
79
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:31,880
Holy fuck!
80
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,760
You've been warned, earthling.
Now you must die!
81
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,240
No, Dalek, please.
82
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:45,960
-Sausages, sausages, stay where you are.
-Yes, yes, of course! Please don't shoot!
83
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,280
-Lawrence, come on.
-Not now, I'm busy. I'm busy.
84
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,360
-Come on.
-I'm busy.
85
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,000
Oh, figgly boogles, I'm dead.
86
00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:56,880
Die for Ireland?
87
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,400
I'm sorry, but it appeared to me...
88
00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,240
that someone here
had taken leave of their senses.
89
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,040
Are you playing the game or not, Braden?
90
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:05,720
Me play! Dying for Ireland.
Earthling, stay where you are!
91
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,200
Well, come on, Englishman, a bullet, please.
92
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,440
And next up is the dashing Feely...
93
00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:19,040
sporting a smoking jacket,
fedora hat, and sunglasses by Gucci.
94
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:20,320
Madam.
95
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,360
The man himself.
96
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,440
-Your mother will be back in a while.
-Oh.
97
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,240
So how's Patrick
and the Braden household?
98
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,480
They're well, Mr. Feely.
99
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,040
Especially my mother, wherever she is.
100
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,440
So someone's told you something, Patrick?
101
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,160
They don't have to.
102
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,440
Hairy Arse Braden tells me every day.
103
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:51,920
Patrick, now....
104
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,320
I'm sorry, Mr. Feely.
105
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,720
You know, I saw her once,
your real mother...
106
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,280
long after the day she left.
107
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,480
It was in London.
108
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,400
I was doing work for Genie McQuillan.
109
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,760
I was going home through Piccadilly...
110
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:20,160
and there, passing by, was Eily Bergin.
111
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,480
Lovely as the day she left, I swear it to God.
112
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:30,360
Did you talk to her, Mr. Feely?
113
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:32,120
What did she say?
114
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,360
I shouted after her, Patrick,
but she didn't hear.
115
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,280
London swallowed her up.
116
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,400
The most beautiful girl in the town.
117
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,640
Biggest city in the world...
118
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,240
it swallowed my mother up.
119
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,560
What about my father, Mr. Feely?
120
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:56,040
I wouldn't know about that, son.
Things be complicated, you know.
121
00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:00,120
What did she look like?
122
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:06,680
Mitzi Gaynor, son.
123
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,560
That's who she looked like, Mitzi.
124
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:13,680
Mitzi Gaynor.
125
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:14,600
Well, fuck me pink with a hairy arse!
126
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:28,920
In the name of the Father and the Son
and the Holy Spirit, amen.
127
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,720
You see, once upon a time...
128
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,120
there was a young girl named Eily Bergin...
129
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,120
who looked not unlike
the well-known film star Mitzi Gaynor...
130
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:56,480
who sang I'm Gonna Wash That Man
Right Outta My Hair.
131
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,440
And she went to London,
the biggest city in the world...
132
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,160
which swallowed her up.
133
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,320
But before she vanished...
134
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:10,520
I think she worked
as a priest's housekeeper, Father.
135
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,400
But I could be wrong there, couldn't I?
136
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,960
I mean, I could be wrong. After all, I....
137
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,000
All I wanted was her address.
138
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,840
There between the Po
and the Apennines, boys...
139
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,840
the climate is always the same.
140
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,600
The landscape never changes...
141
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,680
and in country like this
you can stop along any road for a moment...
142
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:43,440
and look at a farmhouse
sitting in the middle of maize and hemp...
143
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,840
and immediately a story is born.
144
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,480
Now, when you're writing your essay for me
this morning...
145
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,920
whatever form it takes is up to you.
146
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:57,240
It can be called
"I Fought in the Easter Rising"...
147
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,360
"I Was Dracula's Girlfriend"...
148
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:05,080
or even "A Day in the Life of an Old Boot".
149
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,360
You've got one hour, so learn to write.
150
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:32,800
"God bless us.
151
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,320
"It's yourself"...
152
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,160
-God bless us. It's yourself, ma'am.
-It is indeed, Father.
153
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,360
...remarked...
154
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:45,200
randy Father Liam...
155
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:48,440
as he opened the door...
156
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,640
to a young woman...
157
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,680
who bore a startling resemblance...
158
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:55,480
to Mitzi Gaynor.
159
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,200
So you are the replacement
for Mrs. McGlynn?
160
00:12:58,240 --> 00:12:59,800
I am indeed, Father.
161
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,320
Destroyed with the lumbago, she is.
Destroyed, and that's a fact.
162
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,760
But sure she'll be back on her feet soon,
please God.
163
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,480
Please God she will, now.
164
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,080
But tell me this...
165
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:12,120
have I begun to dote...
166
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,320
or do you remind me of someone special?
167
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,840
When she sensed a movement...
168
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,840
underneath his black serge trousers.
169
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,920
Oh, Father, please, how could I?
170
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,320
When I've gone out of my way...
171
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:30,200
knowing that your dicky doodle,
naughty poopster that he is...
172
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,160
given the slightest encouragement...
173
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,080
would be only too eager
to get up to mischief...
174
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,480
Down, boy! Naughty dicky...
175
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:40,160
to camouflage myself and look like
any ordinary old curate's drudge.
176
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,840
"And most definitely not...
177
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,320
"a perfume-sprayed vision...
178
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,400
"named Mitzi Gaynor...
179
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:54,360
"with a head of bubble-cut curls...
180
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:59,160
"that would make any man's privates
go sprong. "
181
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,000
I've got the standard uniform, Father.
182
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,600
The blue housecoat
with the bow at the back...
183
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,760
the tan stockings, color of stale tea...
184
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,880
the old hairnet,
which says to all them Mickies...
185
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,880
whose duty it is to stay inside
and wear black serge...
186
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,800
"No Mickies today.
187
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,560
"Down, boys. That's it, my sweets,
off with you and say your prayers."
188
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,400
Breakfast, Father?
189
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,920
By God, and now you're talking.
190
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,480
Mickey is devious...
191
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:28,000
and no matter how much you tell him...
192
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,760
he simply won't stay down.
193
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,360
But drab old housecoats...
194
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:37,880
and tea-colored stockings
might well have kept him down...
195
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,160
if it wasn't for that pesky spot of grease.
196
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,440
Oh, this is powerful altogether.
197
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,880
I would do jail for another rasher.
Do you know that, Eily?
198
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,640
I'll fry you some more
this minute, then, Father.
199
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,880
Come here till I tell you. Did you hear
the one about peanuts at confession?
200
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,920
No, Father. At least I don't think so.
201
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,320
Says the priest to the young fellow, "Did
you throw peanuts in the river, too?"
202
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,040
To which the young lad says,
"No, Father, I am Peanuts."
203
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,880
Not a very funny joke...
204
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,080
but she laughed and she laughed.
205
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,680
In fact, you could say
she laughed until she cried.
206
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,640
My skirt and housecoat are riding up.
207
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,240
Better abort this task at once...
208
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,680
or we could have an exploding clergyman
filling the air with pent-up sexual energy.
209
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:31,760
Oh, no!
210
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,800
-Priest grows wings in latest miracle.
-Eily!
211
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:38,160
"When she found herself enveloped
by his skirts. "
212
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,400
Now, Father, is this another joke?
213
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:43,920
That hurt, Father.
214
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:48,200
Frank Sinatra wouldn't do this, Father.
Neither would Vic Damone.
215
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,840
I'm all wet, Father.
216
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,400
What are you doing down there, Father?
217
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,760
Are you playing squidgy
with my Fairy Liquid?
218
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,800
But she was soon to realize...
219
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,400
it wasn't Fairy Liquid
he'd been playing with down there.
220
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,840
The end.
221
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:08,680
No...
222
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,240
it wasn't Fairy Liquid at all.
223
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:18,880
"...privates go sprong."
224
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,160
"Privates go...."
225
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,640
How dare you?
226
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,720
When I said, "develop your literary skills"...
227
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:28,520
I did not, repeat, not, mean this.
228
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,200
Why did you write it?
229
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,840
I thought there was a moral, sir.
A lesson, if you will.
230
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,840
Young girls in mortal danger.
231
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,400
Get out of this classroom, Braden!
To the Dean's office!
232
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,920
Hello, class. My name is Miss Kitten...
233
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,600
and I'd like to tell you about the perils
of being a priest's housekeeper...
234
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,440
especially when you look like Mitzi Gaynor.
235
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,880
Hands up who can tell me
who Mitzi Gaynor is.
236
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,320
So, you see, Patrick, we're on your side.
237
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,600
We're here to help you.
I don't think you understand that.
238
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,480
Well, no, you're wrong, Father. I do.
239
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:03,320
So, if you can think of anything
that would help us to help you, well....
240
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:05,920
Well...
241
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,240
there is one thing, Father.
242
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,560
-Instead of PE...
-Yeah.
243
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:17,680
...I could take Home Economics
and Needlework class.
244
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,800
And you think that would help you...
245
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,560
knuckle down and apply yourself?
246
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:29,840
What's that, Patrick?
247
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,320
Oh, and you can call me Kitten, Father.
248
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:34,320
Kitten?
249
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,920
Yes, Patrick Kitten Braden,
after Saint Kitten.
250
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:45,600
Well, now,
there was no Saint Kitten, Patrick.
251
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,880
Oh, no,
but there was a Saint Cettin, Father...
252
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:49,880
and some have been known to call him...
253
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,840
or was it a her...
254
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,120
Kitten.
255
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:56,640
Saint Kitten?
256
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,320
He or she was an acolyte of Saint Patrick.
257
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,640
Wore a dress. As did Saint Patrick, actually.
A hairy dress.
258
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,120
Quite ruined her complexion.
259
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,760
And they're for your sister, Patrick?
260
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:15,080
Oh, she really needs a bit of glamour
in her life, Mrs. Coyle.
261
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:18,920
But then again, don't we all?
262
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:23,120
The trouble broke out as the Minister
of State for Northern Ireland, Mr. Channon...
263
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,720
was visiting Derry
to see businessmen there...
264
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,920
for the second time inside a month.
265
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,000
Jesus, Mammy, I'm exhausted.
266
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,600
At least you have a job...
267
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,920
which is more than that waster yonder
is ever likely to have.
268
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:38,880
Now, one more complaint from that school...
269
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,680
and it'll not be good for you,
by Christ, it'll not.
270
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:43,600
Oh, Mammy?
271
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,560
Do you have the price of the dance
and a cup of coffee?
272
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,000
Price of the dance and a cup of coffee?
273
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,560
Price of the dance and a cup of coffee?
274
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,240
Well, do you think I'm made of money?
275
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,240
Do you think I'm made of money?
276
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:58,960
Will you just hand over the cash?
277
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,400
Will you just fork out the money...
278
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,200
and stop blathering,
you fucking whiskery old whore.
279
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,000
Here. And don't ask me again.
280
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,880
Well, thank you so much, Mammy.
Thank you so much.
281
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,480
-No. No, no, no, no, no.
-Why not?
282
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,280
I'm not obliged to give you any reasons,
but I'll give you two anyway.
283
00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:58,720
Him and her.
284
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,680
Don't have to stand for this, do we, Paddy?
285
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:02,680
Oh, Paddy's her name.
Well, that's reason number three.
286
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:06,120
-Did you ever ride a man, Lukie?
-No, but I rode a man that did.
287
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,160
Fuck you.
288
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:09,880
-Evening.
-How you doing?
289
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,480
Mikey, go get the lads.
290
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,360
I'm warning you, get out of here!
291
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,600
Fuck them and their Rob Strong.
We'll go to the glen.
292
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,960
Excuse me. Can we have a lift?
293
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:37,520
Get on.
294
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,800
Moving out.
295
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,960
Druids, man. We're like the Border Knights.
296
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,080
Knew all about the space-time continuum.
297
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:12,960
-No, Lawrence! No. Excuse me, please.
-Open his eyes.
298
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,640
-What do you see, bro?
-Sausages.
299
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:17,520
No stars?
300
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,600
Stars and sausages.
301
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,240
Now you're talking.
302
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,400
Gotta get behind the surface.
303
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,120
Yes, surface.
304
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:33,160
I see four green fields, Brits in one of them.
305
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,240
-Not for fucking long.
-Hey, no politics, man.
306
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:39,640
Border Knights don't allow them.
307
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,480
Jams the astral highway.
308
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,480
So why do you call yourselves
the Border Knights?
309
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,360
Because the only border that matters...
310
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,880
is the one between what's in front...
311
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,480
and what you've left behind.
312
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,800
When I ride my hog,
you think I'm riding the road?
313
00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,000
No way, man.
314
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:03,080
I'm traveling from the past into the future
with a druid at my back.
315
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:08,000
-Druid man or druid woman?
-That doesn't matter.
316
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,760
What matters is the journey.
317
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,960
-You know where it goes, baby?
-Where?
318
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:23,040
We'll visit the stars and journey to Mars
319
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,720
Finding our breakfast
320
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,480
On Pluto
321
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:30,720
Pluto?
322
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,080
Pluto.
323
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,720
No, not Pluto the dog. Pluto the planet.
324
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:43,320
Named by Percival Lowell
and William H. Pickering...
325
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,360
after the invisible king of the underworld.
326
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,440
You think about that.
327
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,440
Oh, kiss me, Joseph.
Kiss me, Joseph Hanratty.
328
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,160
I'll beat your fucking....
329
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,320
Now, boys and girls...
330
00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:23,080
a retreat is time for prayer and reflection.
331
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:27,000
Some of you may have already noticed
that your bodies are...
332
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:29,600
going through some changes...
333
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:33,200
and I would like you to feel free
to approach us...
334
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,800
about any problem that concerns you.
335
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,520
So, I will leave this problem box...
336
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,200
here by the altar rails.
337
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,280
No problem should be precluded.
338
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,200
After all, that is why we are here.
339
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,680
Now, does everyone remember last week
we were talking about....
340
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,440
You'll not bring my retreat into disrepute,
do you hear me?
341
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,880
How dare it. How dare you, you pup, you....
342
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,120
Sir, you're hurting me.
343
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,520
-What did you write on the paper, Patrick?
-Nothing.
344
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:16,720
Nothing.
345
00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:20,360
Just, did he know any place
that does a good sex change?
346
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:39,520
Disgraced!
347
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,880
Disgraced in front of the whole town,
so we are! Oh, Jesus!
348
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:45,880
How could you do it, Paddy?
Mammy has a bad heart!
349
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,600
-And now you've broken it.
-Oh, God, oh, God!
350
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,920
Oh, Jesus Christ. My arm!
351
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,800
-She's not my mammy.
-What did you say?
352
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,880
I'm sorry, Caz.
Sorry, Mammy, wherever you are.
353
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,120
Oh, stop it, Patrick, please!
354
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,480
Why won't you stop it
and let us get on with our lives?
355
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,960
I'm sorry, Caz. I never meant to hurt you.
356
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,320
-After all, we've both been through this--
-Get away!
357
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,520
Get your hands off me, you creature!
358
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,160
Oh, figgly boogles. What's the point?
359
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,320
That's it, I've tried my best. I'm off.
360
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,800
Are you going to Scotsfield, by any chance?
361
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,080
We'd better be. We're playing there tonight.
Get in the back.
362
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:43,440
Hello.
363
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,240
What do you think of this trouble up North?
364
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,320
-Oh, I think it's an absolute terror.
-Do you think so, yeah?
365
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:06,320
Oh, I do it.
A terror to the living world, so it is.
366
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,480
I don't think you care either way...
367
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:10,560
my good-Iooking young friend.
368
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,800
No, I know how serious it is.
369
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,360
They think they can break us, don't they?
370
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,840
Hang Paddy from the ceiling.
Fuck him from a helicopter.
371
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,240
Give him a dose of white noise.
372
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,640
Shove electrodes up his arse.
373
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:28,360
-Now, really, Mr.--
-Hatchett. They call me Billy Hatchett.
374
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,800
Pleased to meet you, Mr. Hatchett.
375
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,320
You really don't know who I am, do you?
376
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,520
I haven't had the pleasure.
377
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,960
Do you hear that, lads? He's never heard
of Billy Hatchett and the Mohawks.
378
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,120
So, have you somewhere
to stay tonight, Paddy?
379
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:32,440
Or should I call you Patrick?
380
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,560
You can call me Kitten, darling.
381
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:37,720
Kitten?
382
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,600
After Saint Cettin.
383
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,320
He or she was an acolyte of Patrick,
Saint Patrick.
384
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,440
So you have somewhere to stay, then?
385
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:51,440
Mammy threw me out, I'm afraid.
386
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,080
Well, I could always put you up in the van.
387
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:58,720
-It's not much, but I could.
-Mr. Hatchett!
388
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:05,200
Thank you.
389
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:10,280
You're welcome, Kitten.
390
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,240
I'll be off to the hotel, then, Kitten.
391
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:23,320
I'd stay the night.
I'd stay the night, but the boys....
392
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,400
The boys might get the wrong idea.
393
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,160
No, I've gotta go.
394
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,800
-I've gotta go.
-Oh, please don't go just yet.
395
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:33,120
Oh, Kitten. I gotta go. I really have.
396
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:38,560
Billy! Billy, Billy.
397
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,000
It's Bobby Goldsboro.
398
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,280
Used to help me get to sleep.
399
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:55,560
His wife dies. You see,
she dies when he's away from home.
400
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:01,080
-Oh, Kitten, I've gotta go now.
-Billy.
401
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:02,360
I really have.
402
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:06,960
If you were away with the band...
403
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:12,480
and you came home
and you found me lying there...
404
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,840
like Bobby's wife....
405
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,120
What about it?
406
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,960
-Would you take me to the hospital?
-Oh, of course I would.
407
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:27,800
Of course I would, Kitten.
408
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,680
Oh, I wish that could happen.
409
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:35,000
I've seen it all now. I tell you,
I've fucking well seen it all now.
410
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:36,760
Where the fuck
do you think he disappeared to...
411
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,720
when we were in San Francisco?
412
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,560
I'd even bring you flowers.
413
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,000
-Roses?
-Roses.
414
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,720
Oh, Billy.
415
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:52,480
Oh, Kitten.
416
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:54,240
Billy.
417
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,040
For I ask you, Billy Bobby, nicest man...
418
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,640
what's an Indian band without a squaw?
419
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,120
"A squaw?"
420
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:30,400
-Name, please?
-Paddy Kitten. What's yours, darling?
421
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,080
I could tell you were a Paddy all right.
422
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:44,360
-What about Geronimo?
-What would I know? I'm just a Mick.
423
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:47,800
Thirteen of your lot shot in Derry.
What do you know about that?
424
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,600
Maybe you'd know about thirteen less
to deal with.
425
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,040
Fuck off, mate.
426
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:58,800
Fuck off.
427
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,760
Get off the fucking stage, you stupid bitch.
428
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:46,760
Patrick, I don't know how to say this to you.
429
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:49,680
It's the boys, the boys in the band.
430
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,520
They feel a squaw just isn't working out.
431
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:55,640
It could be they have a point.
432
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,240
They say it doesn't feel right.
433
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:01,400
I don't know,
they've been with me so long and....
434
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,480
I'm sorry.
435
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:05,880
But I have a little proposal.
436
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:09,080
-A ring, perhaps?
-Oh, Patrick, Patrick....
437
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:13,480
I told you not to call me that.
438
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,760
I'm sorry, Kitten.
439
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:24,960
Bobby Billy,
would you bring me sweeties, too?
440
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:26,680
You know I would.
441
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,080
-What kind would they be?
-Oh, for the love of Jesus.
442
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:33,360
-No. No, Quality Street.
-Quality Street?
443
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:54,360
It was my mother's.
She left it to me in her will.
444
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:58,240
Nobody stays here, and I need somebody
to look after it, Kitten.
445
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:02,080
-What do you reckon?
-House of dreams and longing.
446
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:06,160
I wouldn't exactly call it a house,
but tell us what you think.
447
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:17,080
Oh, to have a little house.
To own the hearth, stool and all.
448
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:21,840
So, Kitten, can I come and visit you
every now and again?
449
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:26,280
Of course you can,
you great, big, silly Bobby Goldsboro.
450
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,440
You don't even have to ask.
451
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,840
Well, goodness gracious, icky-oakie me.
452
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,320
-What?
-What's with Diana Ross?
453
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:38,120
Leave him be, he knows nothing.
454
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:40,040
-Keep it that way.
-No problem.
455
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:09,720
If I volunteer, Irwin,
could I have pink glasses, please?
456
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,000
Can't you take anything serious?
457
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,080
Oh, serious, serious, serious.
458
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,360
You might have to soon enough.
459
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,320
So fucking what, Charlie?
I sell Republican News.
460
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,240
A few fucking papers, big deal.
What are you, my fucking wife?
461
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,960
Don't you lie to me, Irwin.
I don't believe your stories.
462
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:31,000
I'm involved in nothing! I sell their paper,
for all the difference it makes in this kip.
463
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:32,680
Nobody gives a fuck!
464
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:33,920
Soon enough they fucking will.
465
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,520
If I find out you're lying to me,
I'll finish with you, I swear!
466
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:39,440
Yeah, well, finish it with me,
see if I fucking care!
467
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,880
Come on, move off the road.
There's a vehicle coming through.
468
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:52,040
Get back. It's for your own safety.
469
00:37:56,720 --> 00:37:58,840
Get these people off the street!
470
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:02,200
I want everyone to move away
from the red van!
471
00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:04,560
Come on, folks. Stand back, please. Move!
472
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,400
Bring it down careful now. Yeah, gently.
473
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,800
-Please, move back.
-Move back.
474
00:38:11,240 --> 00:38:14,080
Now let the Army go to work.
Get back, now, get back.
475
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:16,960
Move back and clear the area.
476
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:19,480
-There may be other devices.
-You're to get away now. Get back, now.
477
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,720
Get away from the street.
Get off the street now.
478
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,400
Clear this area for your own safety.
479
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:24,520
Move back.
480
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,800
-It's a Dalek. Exterminate.
-Lawrence!
481
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:31,920
Exterminate. Exterminate.
Exterminate. Exterminate.
482
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:33,520
Exterminate.
483
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:04,520
Dust thou art,
and unto dust thou shalt return...
484
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,560
until the Lord raises you up on the last day.
485
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:11,120
Let us pray for our brother Lawrence
to our Lord Jesus Christ...
486
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:15,040
who said,
"I am the resurrection, and the life.
487
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,240
"The man who believes in me will live
even if he dies."
488
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:23,240
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
489
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:24,960
Thy kingdom come...
490
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:27,800
thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
491
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,200
Give us this day our daily bread.
492
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:01,800
Serious, serious.
493
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,640
Time for some serious spring cleaning.
494
00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:09,480
Fuck.
495
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:12,440
Don't you know what this means?
496
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,960
Do you know
what these guys are like, Paddy?
497
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:18,120
-Don't let this come between us, Billy.
-Shut up!
498
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,160
Jesus, what the fuck am I gonna do?
499
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,160
-Fucking Jesus!
-Tell them I was spring cleaning, darling.
500
00:40:28,240 --> 00:40:31,440
Where are they, Paddy?
Tell me, where are they?
501
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,680
Now, what is this you mean, my darling?
502
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,280
The guns, you little fucking whore,
where are they?
503
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,320
The guns! It's all too fucking serious!
Don't go fucking me around.
504
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,000
Oh, all of a sudden
everybody's getting serious.
505
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:43,800
Serious, serious, serious.
506
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:45,600
I'm not fucking joking, Patrick!
507
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:48,680
-Where are they?
-I told you to call me Kitten.
508
00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,040
Don't fucking know me.
509
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:00,840
You don't know where I've gone.
510
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:04,240
And if they come, if they fucking come,
you tell them nothing.
511
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:07,000
-I mean nothing.
-Whatever you say, darling.
512
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:09,360
You're way out of your league, Patrick.
513
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:12,440
You don't know what you're dealing with.
Don't fucking know.
514
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,520
Oh, I do. I know, all right.
515
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,840
I know you were only joking
about the roses...
516
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:20,800
and sweets, too, probably.
517
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:27,880
But it was nice while it lasted.
518
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,280
Are you happy now?
519
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,840
Are you happy now
that you got what you wanted?
520
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:52,920
Now that they've bombed down here?
521
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,120
Are your Republican friends
good and happy...
522
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,240
now they can see what they've done?
523
00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,760
What the fuck are you talking about?
524
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:02,520
It had nothing to do with Republicans.
525
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,320
What the fuck would they bomb
a southern town for, huh?
526
00:42:08,240 --> 00:42:09,680
You hear me, Charlie?
527
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,840
And if you want out, just say so.
528
00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:39,480
Open the door.
529
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:44,160
-I can't, go away. Come back in the morning.
-Open it, bitch! This is serious!
530
00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:47,640
-Open the fucking door!
-Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm coming.
531
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,560
-Where did he put them?
-I'm afraid I don't understand.
532
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:12,240
The guns, nancy boy.
Where did he put the guns?
533
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:13,560
Oh, yes, the guns.
534
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:17,080
Oh, Billy buried them outside
just to be safe.
535
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:18,200
Go.
536
00:43:21,240 --> 00:43:23,280
There's no fucking guns down here.
537
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:27,720
-I think they might just be...
-The little cunt!
538
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,280
-He's taking the hand out of us.
-...over here.
539
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:32,040
I'll nut him! I swear to God I'll nut him!
540
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:36,400
Say goodbye to my friends, will you?
541
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:38,640
Charlie lives in Sunbeam Heights
and Irwin's up The Backs.
542
00:43:38,720 --> 00:43:39,720
Irwin who?
543
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:41,080
Why, Irwin Kerr, of course.
544
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,960
-The big-time Volunteer.
-How do you know Irwin Kerr?
545
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,840
Oh, nothing. Never mind.
Well, come on then.
546
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:50,320
Just do it. I've nothing left to live for
in this stupid, serious world.
547
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:51,360
Oh, fuck him.
548
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,840
Leave him be. He's not worth the bullet,
the mental nancy boy.
549
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:56,680
Oh, what is it with nancy boys
that you can't be bothered killing them?
550
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:58,640
-You kill everyone else.
-Look, I'm fucking warning you.
551
00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:01,160
Do you know what you're doing here?
Are you on dope or what?
552
00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:04,160
Wish that I was, Mr. Killing Man.
Why, do you have any?
553
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,800
You're way out of your league, sunshine.
554
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:08,920
Not that again.
"Out of your league, out of your league."
555
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,000
"Oh, you're in over your head.
You're in over your head."
556
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:12,480
Oh, for heaven's sake!
557
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:14,960
Surely you've one bullet to spare
between yous.
558
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:16,680
Bollocks!
559
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:26,680
-Where are we going?
-You hit us, we hit you.
560
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,680
-It's simple.
-Right.
561
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:31,400
The bomb was made up here
and driven across the border.
562
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:34,040
Wee Bobby Anderson.
Likes killing Catholics.
563
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:36,200
It'll be the last fucking bomb he'll make.
564
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,440
Turn the lights off. Keep it running.
565
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:07,920
Oh, Lord.
566
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:26,720
Get us the fuck out of here, will you?
567
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,720
-What's the smell?
-He shat himself.
568
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:31,400
You not toilet trained?
569
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:36,400
What do you think you are, Kerr?
What the fuck do you think this is?
570
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:42,800
Tell me you're not serious.
571
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,400
You see, there is that word again.
It's everywhere.
572
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:47,800
But you don't know a soul
in London, Paddy.
573
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,120
There's only one soul I need, Charlie.
574
00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:56,120
You really think you'll find her?
575
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,160
How many Eily Bergins can there be?
576
00:45:58,240 --> 00:46:00,080
Maybe she's changed her name.
577
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:02,800
She won't have changed her eyes, Irwin.
578
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:07,280
How will you get by?
579
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:12,680
Saint Anthony will guide me.
580
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:16,880
The thing is, you come to the city
that never sleeps...
581
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:19,160
and you think it's open all the time,
but it does sleep.
582
00:47:19,240 --> 00:47:20,680
Excuse me?
583
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:22,800
Of course it does.
584
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:26,280
I'm looking for my mother, please.
Eily Bergin. Phantom Lady.
585
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:31,600
I've just got two Bergins for 1956.
586
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:34,680
Bergin, Ellen,
and Bergin with a simple initial E.
587
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:37,920
Well, that's her.
I mean, it has to be one of them.
588
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,800
One's from Aldgate
and the other's from East London.
589
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:46,520
Will you be going back home
after you've found her?
590
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,520
Oh, yes, of course.
Maybe she'll come with me.
591
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:54,680
-And, son, will you promise me something?
-Yes.
592
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:59,400
-Take care of yourself.
-Oh, I will, Mrs. Henderson.
593
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:00,640
Thank you.
594
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:31,400
No, mate,
they knocked those houses down years ago.
595
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:21,520
I'm....
596
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:27,600
The man himself.
597
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:30,440
About time, too.
598
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:36,480
Are you here for the job, kid?
599
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:40,920
What job?
600
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:42,640
This is showbiz, kid.
You gotta be on the ball.
601
00:50:42,720 --> 00:50:45,000
You try that with Stephenson,
now, you've no fucking chance.
602
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:46,200
Who's Stephenson?
603
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:49,520
He thinks he's in charge.
RAF, my bollocks! I'll give him RAF.
604
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:53,040
-You're Irish, you are.
-Tyreelin, County Cavan.
605
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:54,960
Well then, County Cavan...
606
00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:57,800
give us a song and you're home and dry.
607
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:02,200
Underground, overground, wombling free
608
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:04,440
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
609
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:07,920
Good man, you have it.
Now the dance, okay? Okay?
610
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:09,600
I'm going in.
611
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:14,160
Right. Hop, one. Hop, two.
Hop, one, two, three.
612
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:17,440
Flap, flap, flap. Okay?
613
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:21,600
Go, go on.
Hop, hop one, hop two, hop one, two, three.
614
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,240
Flap, flap, flap. Right, ready?
615
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,520
Right, hop one, hop two.
616
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:29,080
For fuck's sake, will you hop right?
One, two, three.
617
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:32,320
Hop one, hop two. Hop, one, two, three.
618
00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:35,880
Flap, flap. Flap it out, flap it out.
619
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:38,160
Sell it to me.
620
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:42,640
Overground, underground, wombling free
621
00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:45,240
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
622
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,160
Give him the drill, Bulgaria.
623
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:50,480
Enough already.
You take the croquet. Capisce?
624
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:51,880
-Capisce.
-I gotta wheel.
625
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:53,760
Every morning, 9:00, be there.
626
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:08,760
Bulgaria?
627
00:52:09,240 --> 00:52:11,080
I told you before,
these are your responsibility.
628
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:12,480
You're head Womble here.
629
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:14,640
-Well, that's this.... Fuck!
-Fuck!
630
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:16,440
I'll give you RAF.
631
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:17,920
I broke no fucking mallet!
632
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,600
-I broke no fucking mallet!
-Keep away from me.
633
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:21,920
Put that down!
634
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,680
I'll break it across your back, you bollocks!
635
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:27,000
I'll bust it....
636
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:32,600
"You broke the mallet," he says.
637
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:35,960
"I'll have to dock it from your pay."
I broke no fucking mallet.
638
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:37,400
You fucked me one last time.
639
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:39,360
RAF, my bollocks! That's the end of the line!
640
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:41,080
Enough of that, John Joe.
641
00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:43,520
Back off, motherfucker.
642
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,120
You don't know
what you're dealing with here!
643
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:47,200
Back in the can,
you wanna know what they used to say?
644
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:49,800
"Stay away, man.
He's out where the buses don't run!"
645
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:53,280
-You're out of your league here, friend.
-Oh, not that again.
646
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:55,440
You have to show them where you stand.
647
00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:57,680
They fuck with you, you fuck with them.
648
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:00,240
You fuck them so bad
you make them wish they'd never been born.
649
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:03,200
-You want another shot?
-I'd love a Babycham.
650
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:05,560
You got it, kemo sabe.
651
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:09,040
Tommy, one Babycham, one Powers.
652
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:10,480
Please.
653
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:12,480
Two weeks' severance, in the paw.
654
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,920
You fuck with John Joe Kenny,
that's one time you fuck too many.
655
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:17,920
He's from Cavan.
656
00:53:18,240 --> 00:53:20,600
So, where's Cavan?
657
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:22,200
Next to Monaghan.
658
00:53:23,720 --> 00:53:26,640
I'm going for a womble.
If you want to come, give us a shout, right?
659
00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:28,120
Really, Uncle Bulgaria.
660
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:30,960
Underground, overground, wombling free
661
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:34,160
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
662
00:53:34,240 --> 00:53:37,000
Underground, overground, wombling free
663
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:39,440
I was a Womble one time.
Did you know that?
664
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:44,400
Hey, you can't sleep here, love.
665
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:47,240
Have you got a home to go to?
666
00:53:48,720 --> 00:53:50,480
You can get a cab outside.
667
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:56,240
Oh, I do believe I have a small, elfin
dwelling on Wimbledon Common.
668
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:07,840
Oi!
669
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:10,680
You doing business,
do it somewhere else, love.
670
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:12,440
This pavement's got my name on it.
671
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:14,760
What, pray, is your name? Concrete?
672
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:18,320
My name is Scratch Your Eyes Out,
Bite Your Bleeding Nose Off...
673
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:21,200
which is what I'll do
if you don't get off my patch.
674
00:54:22,240 --> 00:54:23,520
All right, lover?
675
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:25,840
She giving you trouble, son?
676
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:28,880
Oh, no trouble at all.
We were just exchanging names.
677
00:54:30,320 --> 00:54:32,920
Go on, you fucking nancy boy!
678
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:35,320
Don't fucking come back!
679
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:39,280
And her name is Scratch Your Eyes Out
and Bite Your Bleeding Nose Off.
680
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:41,840
And my name is Patricia Kitten Braden.
681
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:44,760
Pleased to meet you, Patricia Kitten Braden.
682
00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:48,000
Just what were you doing back there?
683
00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:50,000
I was looking for the Phantom Lady.
684
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:51,960
You found the right street, then.
685
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:54,880
Why, what's it called? Phantom Lady Street?
686
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:58,400
You could call it that.
And just who is this Phantom Lady?
687
00:54:58,680 --> 00:55:01,520
Well, it's my mother, really. I call her that.
688
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:05,520
To pretend it's a story
that's happening to someone else, you see.
689
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:07,320
And why do you pretend that?
690
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:10,040
Because otherwise I might cry
and never stop.
691
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,680
If you cried, I'd make you stop.
692
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:14,440
Oh, you would?
693
00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:16,560
Oh, how kind, kind sir.
694
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:19,600
Yes, I'd definitely make you stop.
695
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:26,440
And just what is it you do, then?
696
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:30,120
Oh, this and that. Showbiz, kind of. Singing.
697
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:34,520
-What do you like to sing about?
-I sing about true love.
698
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:36,480
That's nice.
699
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:38,680
Have you ever found it?
700
00:55:40,240 --> 00:55:42,600
I thought I had, once.
701
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:47,320
Here's one about true love.
702
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:53,040
Ever heard this one?
703
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:56,240
Nice, isn't it?
704
00:55:56,960 --> 00:55:58,960
I just love love songs.
705
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:04,440
Take it off.
706
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:09,520
-Don't you like it?
-Take it off, there's a good lad.
707
00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:13,880
As you wish, sir.
708
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:23,000
-Now, isn't that more comfortable?
-Yes, sir.
709
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:28,080
Of course it is, my love-Ioving friend.
710
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:32,760
Here, feel that.
711
00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:39,160
Good old-fashioned silk.
712
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:42,240
-Here you are.
-Thank you.
713
00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:51,800
It's beautiful.
714
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:57,600
-You like it?
-It's beautiful.
715
00:56:58,400 --> 00:56:59,640
Like it?
716
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:14,360
But did true love save Kitten
from the hands of the beast...
717
00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:16,720
in that worst of all fairy tales?
718
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:19,480
No, what saved Kitten...
719
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:22,000
was her precious perfume spray...
720
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:25,960
bought for �2.99
in Roches Stores on Henry Street...
721
00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:28,760
before she left her beloved Emerald Isle.
722
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:39,920
Hello.
723
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:43,480
I'm sorry to interrupt...
724
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:46,440
but are you all right, miss?
725
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:50,840
Yes, fine, thank you.
726
00:57:51,480 --> 00:57:54,560
Just tired after my hard day's work.
727
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:58,160
You have been sitting there
for four hours now.
728
00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:02,880
Yes, busy at my desk.
729
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:05,920
Busy at your desk?
730
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:10,400
Writing my little book.
731
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:13,640
Your little book?
732
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:17,480
What type of book?
733
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:22,320
Well, it's a....
734
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:25,360
It's a mystery thriller, sir.
735
00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:27,440
About a woman who disappears.
736
00:58:29,200 --> 00:58:31,800
May I ask what it's called?
737
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:35,000
Yes.
738
00:58:35,680 --> 00:58:36,880
It's called...
739
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:40,280
Footprints in the Custard.
740
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:46,840
No, I'm only joking.
It doesn't have a name yet...
741
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:50,720
because I don't know what's gonna happen
if the mystery is ever solved.
742
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:53,080
But the lady has a name?
743
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:56,320
Phantom Lady.
744
00:58:57,600 --> 00:58:59,000
"Phantom Lady."
745
00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:05,320
No, her real name's Eily Bergin.
She was my mother.
746
00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:07,000
-Your mother?
-Yeah.
747
00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:09,120
And then she went away
to the city of all cities...
748
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:11,400
that never sleeps from dusk till dawn.
749
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:15,600
-So, you think she's here in London?
-No, I know she's here in London.
750
00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:17,000
Fantastic!
751
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:21,160
The fantastic tale of Eily Bergin.
752
00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:23,720
I can't wait to hear the ending.
753
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:27,960
-But you haven't even heard the start.
-I can't wait to hear that, either.
754
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:33,240
-So, are you a writer, too, then, sir?
-Oh, good Lord, no.
755
00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:38,160
But something similar, maybe.
756
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:41,640
Something similar?
I wonder what that could be.
757
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:49,520
You're a magician!
758
00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:52,960
Bertie Vaughan at your service.
759
00:59:54,760 --> 00:59:58,320
Now, the first thing that has to be said,
Bertie dearest...
760
00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:02,760
is that you bear absolutely no resemblance
to Marlon "Margarine" Brando.
761
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:05,040
We all have our off days.
762
01:00:06,720 --> 01:00:09,360
So, tell me more about the Phantom Lady.
763
01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:11,800
Why? What's in it for me?
764
01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:14,080
I'll take you to see my show.
765
01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:16,840
Oh, it's a deal, Magic.
766
01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:21,520
So, where were we? Yes, the Phantom Lady.
767
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:24,080
Eily Bergin had just arrived in Dublin...
768
01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:28,040
and just realized that her boat
didn't sail for another four hours.
769
01:00:38,600 --> 01:00:40,440
Lo and behold, not a scratch.
770
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:42,120
Thank you, my dear.
771
01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:45,280
Pick a card.
772
01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:47,000
Anyone?
773
01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:49,520
Come along, madam, pick a card.
774
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:51,000
Any card.
775
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:59,000
-Oh, my God!
-Oh, yes, blimey.
776
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:00,560
"Oh, my God" is right.
777
01:01:00,640 --> 01:01:04,440
I do believe you've chosen the 101 of hearts.
778
01:01:04,480 --> 01:01:06,920
Thank you, my dear, I'll take care of that.
779
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:11,280
Time, of course.
780
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:13,440
The time.
781
01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:16,720
Looks like it's up, you lovely people.
782
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:20,840
Come on, help me, please, my loves.
783
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:26,480
Anyone out there
willing to encounter the great watch?
784
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:33,640
-Hello, young lady.
-Hello.
785
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:37,840
And what's the story
behind those beautiful blue eyes?
786
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:45,760
-What's your name, young lady?
-Patricia Kitten Braden.
787
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:49,040
-And where are you from, my dear?
-Ireland.
788
01:01:49,320 --> 01:01:52,440
Keep your eye on the watch, young Patricia.
789
01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:55,800
The whole world is in there.
790
01:01:57,680 --> 01:01:59,360
Tick-tock.
791
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:03,560
Swing-swong.
792
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:06,840
And, dare I say it...
793
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:09,120
ding-dong.
794
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:14,160
And let the great watch guide you.
795
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:28,800
And what brings you
to our great metropolis?
796
01:02:29,440 --> 01:02:31,160
I'm looking for my mammy.
797
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:34,640
Oh. And where did Mummy go?
798
01:02:35,560 --> 01:02:39,200
-The city swallowed her up.
-Oh, fancy that.
799
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:41,800
Well, it will do that to people.
800
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:46,040
But do you know what, Patricia?
801
01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:49,560
-I think I see your mother.
-Where?
802
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:52,760
Why, down there
by that table by the jukebox.
803
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:54,800
Mammy!
804
01:02:58,120 --> 01:03:00,720
On second thoughts, Patricia...
805
01:03:00,760 --> 01:03:03,480
she's not your mother,
she's your great-aunt Ida.
806
01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:05,960
That's your mother over there.
807
01:03:06,400 --> 01:03:07,640
Mammy?
808
01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:10,520
Mammy!
809
01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:12,280
Oh, Mammy.
810
01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:16,680
Actually...
811
01:03:16,760 --> 01:03:21,240
Patricia, that's your second cousin Ronnie,
just out of the Scrubs.
812
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:23,800
In fact...
813
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:27,120
your mummy is right up here.
814
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:30,520
Up here on stage.
815
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:33,040
Come to Mummy.
816
01:03:34,040 --> 01:03:35,920
Come to Mummy.
817
01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:38,520
Come to Mummy.
818
01:03:38,720 --> 01:03:40,640
Come to Mummy.
819
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:44,560
You love your mummy and your poppy.
820
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:48,240
Good to have you back, darling.
821
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:50,720
And Mummy's never leaving again.
822
01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:51,960
Never.
823
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:54,080
Never.
824
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:57,160
Never, I promise. Never.
825
01:04:17,320 --> 01:04:19,840
Just call me Old Sawbones.
826
01:04:28,600 --> 01:04:31,280
-You all right, dear?
-Yes.
827
01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:46,360
Those of a nervous disposition...
828
01:04:46,400 --> 01:04:49,760
should now close their eyes.
829
01:04:54,160 --> 01:04:55,320
Oh, dear.
830
01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:04,880
Are you all right, Kitten?
831
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:08,880
No, I'm actually quite heartbroken.
832
01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:16,880
I think I see the problem.
833
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:43,360
Gee, thanks, Cupid.
834
01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:56,840
And the other thing
about the Phantom Lady was, Bertie...
835
01:05:56,880 --> 01:06:00,440
she realized, in the city that never sleeps....
836
01:06:00,520 --> 01:06:02,440
What did she realize, Kitten?
837
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:06,600
That all the songs that she'd listened to,
all the love songs...
838
01:06:07,120 --> 01:06:09,320
well, they were only songs.
839
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:12,840
-What's wrong with that?
-Nothing, if you don't believe in them.
840
01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:15,480
But she did, you see.
841
01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:18,120
She believed in enchanted evenings...
842
01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:22,120
and she believed that a small cloud
passed overhead...
843
01:06:22,160 --> 01:06:24,640
and cried down on her flowerbed.
844
01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:28,440
And she even believed
there was breakfast to be had.
845
01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:29,480
Where?
846
01:06:30,560 --> 01:06:31,720
On Pluto.
847
01:06:32,600 --> 01:06:36,360
The mysterious, icy wastes of Pluto.
848
01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:42,600
You know, Kitten,
I made a decision a long time ago.
849
01:06:43,720 --> 01:06:45,280
What decision was that?
850
01:06:46,360 --> 01:06:50,160
That I wasn't destined
for the sentimental side of things.
851
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:52,840
But....
852
01:06:53,520 --> 01:06:57,600
But if I did let myself ever fall for someone...
853
01:06:59,120 --> 01:07:01,120
I think it would be a girl like you.
854
01:07:01,200 --> 01:07:03,920
Bertie, please, I have to stop you.
There's something you should know.
855
01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:06,520
Or maybe what I should say is...
856
01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:09,800
it would be a girl...
857
01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:14,360
-not a million miles away from...
-No, please don't.
858
01:07:14,480 --> 01:07:16,040
...where I'm standing.
859
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:18,560
No.
860
01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:23,960
What's the matter, princess?
861
01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:28,520
Well, you see, the thing is, Bertie...
862
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:31,360
I'm not....
863
01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:32,520
Yes?
864
01:07:35,360 --> 01:07:36,800
I'm not a girl.
865
01:07:37,680 --> 01:07:39,560
Oh, I knew that, princess.
866
01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:43,360
-You did?
-Of course.
867
01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:46,000
What I said was...
868
01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:49,400
it would be a girl like you.
869
01:07:58,080 --> 01:08:01,000
I do believe I see Mummy over there.
870
01:08:03,840 --> 01:08:05,160
Mammy!
871
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:13,080
Actually, she's just walked in. There.
872
01:08:16,680 --> 01:08:17,920
Mammy! Mammy.
873
01:08:18,520 --> 01:08:19,840
Bastards!
874
01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:22,800
Think you can make fun of her?
875
01:08:24,040 --> 01:08:25,520
You're coming with me.
876
01:08:29,320 --> 01:08:30,320
Wait!
877
01:08:30,720 --> 01:08:32,200
Please don't leave me.
878
01:08:33,160 --> 01:08:35,080
What about the Prince of Magic?
879
01:08:35,480 --> 01:08:38,440
-Please don't go.
-Some fucking Prince of Magic.
880
01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:41,320
No, maybe I should....
He doesn't mean bad, Charlie.
881
01:08:41,360 --> 01:08:44,120
For Christ's sake, Paddy,
what is happening to you?
882
01:08:44,960 --> 01:08:46,120
Kitten!
883
01:09:12,080 --> 01:09:13,120
Excuse me.
884
01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:22,600
John Joe. John Joe!
885
01:09:22,800 --> 01:09:23,760
John Joe!
886
01:09:25,280 --> 01:09:26,760
Not a Womble anymore.
887
01:09:27,480 --> 01:09:31,280
Don't talk to me about fucking Wombles!
I'm in the Tower of London now.
888
01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:36,840
Thirty smackers in the paw, boy,
no questions asked.
889
01:09:36,920 --> 01:09:38,800
Hey, they're looking
for a Mary Queen of Scots.
890
01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:41,960
-Would you be up for it?
-They'd chop my head off, surely.
891
01:09:42,400 --> 01:09:44,520
And here's the man to do it for you.
892
01:09:46,200 --> 01:09:47,560
Smiley, huh?
893
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:27,240
Where's Irwin gone?
894
01:10:28,120 --> 01:10:30,640
Him and his fucking revolution.
895
01:10:43,200 --> 01:10:45,800
-How'd you carry it?
-Bottom of my sleeping bag.
896
01:10:47,960 --> 01:10:50,400
There won't be much sleeping
with this baby.
897
01:10:51,480 --> 01:10:53,360
So you haven't seen her, then?
898
01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:57,200
She's here, though, somewhere.
899
01:10:57,280 --> 01:10:59,360
I know it. I just know it, Charlie.
900
01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:01,480
Big fucking city.
901
01:11:03,200 --> 01:11:04,920
I'm losing Irwin, you know.
902
01:11:06,080 --> 01:11:07,080
How?
903
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:10,840
He's up to something. I know it.
904
01:11:12,720 --> 01:11:14,280
He's got these secrets.
905
01:11:16,400 --> 01:11:18,240
So why did you come over, Charlie?
906
01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:19,880
Wasn't just to see me.
907
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:23,400
Was it something to do with Irwin?
908
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:27,160
You might say that.
909
01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:32,200
I'm pregnant.
910
01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:38,160
Oh, Jesus, Charlie.
911
01:11:39,920 --> 01:11:41,120
Does he know?
912
01:11:42,960 --> 01:11:44,680
You know all he knows about.
913
01:11:45,840 --> 01:11:47,240
Or cares.
914
01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:58,280
But you didn't come here to have the baby?
915
01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:03,080
I came here to get rid of it.
916
01:12:10,440 --> 01:12:12,280
You have to tell him, Charlie.
917
01:12:13,560 --> 01:12:14,800
I can't.
918
01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:17,560
He's all fucked up. He's....
919
01:12:19,800 --> 01:12:22,760
So, how are the homeless?
920
01:12:24,560 --> 01:12:25,880
Homeless are fine.
921
01:12:26,640 --> 01:12:29,000
That's what keeps him out late, Kitten...
922
01:12:29,640 --> 01:12:31,280
working with the homeless.
923
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:33,200
Right, Irwin?
924
01:12:50,120 --> 01:12:52,920
-I can't have it, can I, Paddy?
-No.
925
01:12:54,400 --> 01:12:56,040
No, you can't.
926
01:12:59,040 --> 01:13:01,240
Irwin's involved in shit
I don't wanna think about.
927
01:13:01,320 --> 01:13:02,440
I know.
928
01:13:02,760 --> 01:13:06,320
What would it turn out like, Paddy?
You know what I mean, don't you?
929
01:13:07,440 --> 01:13:11,240
It'd be an absolute disaster, like me.
930
01:13:13,720 --> 01:13:17,160
Now, I want you to read this leaflet.
931
01:13:17,520 --> 01:13:20,520
It outlines all aspects
of the termination procedure.
932
01:13:21,560 --> 01:13:22,680
Termination?
933
01:13:23,400 --> 01:13:26,640
-You mean this is an abortion clinic?
-Yes, of course it is.
934
01:13:27,760 --> 01:13:30,080
I thought it was a fertility clinic.
935
01:13:36,840 --> 01:13:39,160
I think she changed her mind. Thank you.
936
01:13:48,360 --> 01:13:51,000
You said it'd be a disaster, like you.
937
01:13:51,560 --> 01:13:53,800
Worse, probably.
938
01:13:54,320 --> 01:13:58,680
-But I love you, you fucking disaster.
-Oh, Charlie.
939
01:14:05,520 --> 01:14:08,520
-Promise you won't get lost again?
-I promise.
940
01:14:10,320 --> 01:14:11,280
Tell him.
941
01:14:12,920 --> 01:14:14,120
Tell me what?
942
01:14:15,120 --> 01:14:18,320
Charlie's joining the Sandinistas.
Aren't you, Charlie?
943
01:14:18,440 --> 01:14:21,360
-Sandinistas?
-They're a rock band.
944
01:14:21,440 --> 01:14:24,040
-Aren't they, Charlie?
-Where can I reach you?
945
01:14:26,280 --> 01:14:28,040
Try Cambridge Circus.
946
01:14:42,200 --> 01:14:43,760
See you, Paddy.
947
01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:35,880
-You and me, darling. What do you say?
-I don't quite know what to say.
948
01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:39,720
Christ, you're a bloke!
949
01:15:39,800 --> 01:15:42,320
Ten out of ten, Sherlock.
950
01:16:02,520 --> 01:16:04,400
You fancy a drink or something?
951
01:16:06,360 --> 01:16:09,200
Campari and soda, if you don't mind.
952
01:16:09,400 --> 01:16:10,760
Of course I don't.
953
01:16:10,840 --> 01:16:13,120
Wouldn't have asked you otherwise,
would I?
954
01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:15,080
Campari and soda, please, mate.
955
01:16:20,760 --> 01:16:22,160
There you go, mate.
956
01:16:23,240 --> 01:16:24,160
Cheers.
957
01:16:29,960 --> 01:16:31,000
Thank you.
958
01:16:33,200 --> 01:16:36,400
-Crowded tonight.
-Oh, yes.
959
01:16:36,480 --> 01:16:39,880
-Football supporters?
-No, Royal Engineers.
960
01:16:40,080 --> 01:16:41,800
Oh, soldiers.
961
01:16:42,040 --> 01:16:44,160
Just come back from a tour of duty.
962
01:16:44,400 --> 01:16:48,240
-Aden? Cyprus? No, let me guess.
-Fucking Ulster.
963
01:16:50,280 --> 01:16:52,240
I haven't got anything
against the Irish, though, mind.
964
01:16:52,320 --> 01:16:55,720
-I hear they're very friendly.
-Don't know. Maybe.
965
01:16:58,200 --> 01:17:01,520
It's the politicians what fuck it up, though,
isn't it?
966
01:17:05,240 --> 01:17:06,880
Do you wanna dance?
967
01:17:08,520 --> 01:17:10,120
Yes, I'd love to.
968
01:17:24,200 --> 01:17:27,400
-You okay?
-Oh, yes. Super.
969
01:17:29,160 --> 01:17:31,240
You seem a little bit tense.
970
01:17:34,440 --> 01:17:36,440
Would you do something for me?
971
01:17:37,400 --> 01:17:38,720
Yeah, of course.
972
01:17:41,320 --> 01:17:43,760
Would you pretend your name's Bobby?
973
01:17:45,000 --> 01:17:46,000
Bobby who?
974
01:17:47,880 --> 01:17:49,280
Bobby Goldsboro.
975
01:17:51,240 --> 01:17:53,080
It's his song, you see.
976
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:56,440
Bobby it is, then.
977
01:17:57,720 --> 01:18:01,720
All you have to do is plant a little tree...
978
01:18:02,040 --> 01:18:04,560
surprise me with a puppy...
979
01:18:05,280 --> 01:18:07,120
I'll hug your neck.
980
01:18:56,080 --> 01:18:58,280
Back. Go to the back end.
981
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:00,680
Get as many men down as you can.
982
01:19:00,720 --> 01:19:02,680
All right, my love,
we're gonna get you out of here.
983
01:19:02,760 --> 01:19:05,160
Come on, my love. Can you stand?
984
01:19:08,280 --> 01:19:09,480
That's it.
985
01:19:09,560 --> 01:19:11,400
As many people as we can get out
through the door.
986
01:19:11,480 --> 01:19:13,040
Take my shoulder, love.
987
01:19:13,160 --> 01:19:14,960
You're all right, mate, I've got you.
988
01:19:15,040 --> 01:19:16,040
My tights.
989
01:19:16,120 --> 01:19:17,720
-Easy, easy.
-Steady down there. Steady.
990
01:19:17,800 --> 01:19:19,400
My tights! They're in ribbons.
991
01:19:19,480 --> 01:19:21,920
You're alive, love, that's the main thing.
Come on.
992
01:19:21,960 --> 01:19:24,440
I know what I'll have to do,
I'll have to get a new pair.
993
01:19:24,520 --> 01:19:26,840
There's no other way, I'm afraid.
994
01:19:29,920 --> 01:19:31,720
Keep still, darling.
Don't try and move, okay?
995
01:19:31,800 --> 01:19:33,840
Please, let us through now!
996
01:19:33,960 --> 01:19:35,240
Watch out.
997
01:19:36,520 --> 01:19:39,480
-I told you, from my best side, darlings.
-Bring the other ambulance.
998
01:19:39,560 --> 01:19:40,840
Slow down.
999
01:19:41,160 --> 01:19:43,000
That's it. Slowly now.
1000
01:19:43,920 --> 01:19:46,760
Come on, get out of the way, please!
Come on.
1001
01:19:47,200 --> 01:19:50,480
-Out of the way.
-Please, nurse, he's in so much pain.
1002
01:19:52,040 --> 01:19:55,360
No, they're Christian Dior.
Do you really have to?
1003
01:20:04,680 --> 01:20:08,960
How silly can you get,
putting an "X" across my weenie.
1004
01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:13,800
Not so silly as 11 fucking people
blown to pieces...
1005
01:20:13,880 --> 01:20:15,600
you twisted little cunt!
1006
01:20:15,680 --> 01:20:19,160
Fucking baby-faced, fucking Irish murderer!
1007
01:20:22,760 --> 01:20:25,000
I'm sorry, did you call?
1008
01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:29,600
I can't quite see where you are.
I'm over here, you see.
1009
01:20:30,280 --> 01:20:33,960
Millions of miles up here
with Sirius guarding my head.
1010
01:20:34,000 --> 01:20:36,200
Tell him what he wants to know!
1011
01:20:36,840 --> 01:20:40,200
It's free. Everyone thinks it's cold up here...
1012
01:20:40,280 --> 01:20:41,680
but it's actually quite warm.
1013
01:20:41,760 --> 01:20:45,120
Yes, it's warm as toast up on Pluto.
1014
01:20:45,440 --> 01:20:46,400
Pluto.
1015
01:20:48,320 --> 01:20:52,160
Don't try the fucking blarney on us, Paddy!
1016
01:20:52,200 --> 01:20:55,240
We know you planted the fucking bomb!
1017
01:20:55,560 --> 01:20:57,880
But of course I did, my darling.
1018
01:20:57,960 --> 01:21:00,240
Why, I've planted hundreds of them.
1019
01:21:00,320 --> 01:21:03,200
Have you now? Well, plant this!
1020
01:21:07,720 --> 01:21:09,600
Hello, officer.
1021
01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:11,520
I'm over here.
1022
01:21:11,760 --> 01:21:14,360
Just take a left at the Milky Way.
1023
01:21:14,760 --> 01:21:18,040
We'll travel to Mars and visit
1024
01:21:18,120 --> 01:21:20,200
Christ, I can't fucking stand this!
1025
01:21:20,240 --> 01:21:24,760
Listen, son,
why don't you just make a statement?
1026
01:21:26,280 --> 01:21:29,440
A statement, officer?
Why didn't you just say so?
1027
01:21:29,480 --> 01:21:33,280
Attaboy. There's no point
making it hard for all of us.
1028
01:21:33,360 --> 01:21:36,840
Of course not.
After all, we're all friends here.
1029
01:21:43,240 --> 01:21:48,000
Let's start with where you were
on Thursday, October 17th.
1030
01:21:49,760 --> 01:21:54,080
I was in my little cell
working with my active service unit.
1031
01:21:54,720 --> 01:21:56,840
But I was working undercover.
1032
01:21:57,400 --> 01:21:58,760
Undercover?
1033
01:22:04,120 --> 01:22:07,440
Oh, it's all coming back to me now.
Pen and paper, please.
1034
01:22:16,360 --> 01:22:20,600
Patricia Kitten, a.k.a. Deep Throat...
1035
01:22:20,680 --> 01:22:25,160
had penetrated the deepest recesses
of the Republican sphincter...
1036
01:22:27,760 --> 01:22:30,920
with her secret anti-terrorist spray...
1037
01:22:31,120 --> 01:22:35,160
named after Gabrielle Coco Chanel's
lucky number.
1038
01:22:37,440 --> 01:22:39,640
The stability of Semtex
will be compromised.
1039
01:22:39,720 --> 01:22:42,880
Oh, but, Lord, was she sick of that black.
1040
01:22:44,520 --> 01:22:47,840
What is it with freedom fighters
and couture anyway?
1041
01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:04,200
You've got fuse support and booster charge.
1042
01:23:04,280 --> 01:23:07,040
What can I say?
We've got here the pressure plate--
1043
01:23:15,320 --> 01:23:16,400
Stop
1044
01:23:59,520 --> 01:24:01,240
Is there anyone here?
1045
01:24:01,320 --> 01:24:03,240
Why won't he just talk to us?
1046
01:24:03,280 --> 01:24:06,240
Did he or didn't he, dressed as a woman,
get caught by his own bomb?
1047
01:24:06,280 --> 01:24:09,120
We've held him six days now.
Seven's the max.
1048
01:24:19,880 --> 01:24:21,000
Paddy?
1049
01:24:22,920 --> 01:24:26,560
-You all right?
-Fine. Absolutely wonderful.
1050
01:24:28,080 --> 01:24:31,640
Meet us halfway, will you, Paddy?
Tell us why you came over here.
1051
01:24:32,920 --> 01:24:35,080
Well, I was just looking for someone.
1052
01:24:35,160 --> 01:24:38,480
-I was just looking for Eily Bergin.
-Who's Eily Bergin, Paddy?
1053
01:24:40,480 --> 01:24:42,360
She's gone undercover now.
1054
01:24:42,440 --> 01:24:44,960
The biggest city in the world
swallowed her up.
1055
01:24:45,000 --> 01:24:47,840
Could she help us
with our inquiries, Paddy?
1056
01:24:48,040 --> 01:24:49,240
She could help me with mine.
1057
01:24:49,320 --> 01:24:52,160
Do you want us to find her?
Have you got an address?
1058
01:24:53,680 --> 01:24:57,120
-You could try The House That Vanished.
-The House That Vanished.
1059
01:24:58,480 --> 01:25:02,280
Oh, Christ. I think we're all losing it.
1060
01:25:10,280 --> 01:25:13,960
We're gonna get some sleep now, Paddy.
We're gonna get some sleep.
1061
01:25:14,280 --> 01:25:18,160
Look, I think we may have made a mistake.
1062
01:25:19,560 --> 01:25:21,720
-Officer?
-What is it now?
1063
01:25:22,560 --> 01:25:26,720
If you came home from the office
and you found me lying on the floor...
1064
01:25:27,360 --> 01:25:30,800
-would you take me to the hospital?
-Well, of course I would.
1065
01:25:31,560 --> 01:25:34,000
And would you carry me
like you're doing now?
1066
01:25:34,600 --> 01:25:35,920
Well, yeah.
1067
01:25:36,520 --> 01:25:41,160
So if I wasn't a transvestite terrorist,
would you marry me?
1068
01:25:41,800 --> 01:25:43,600
No, for fuck's sake.
1069
01:25:51,680 --> 01:25:54,760
Well, is Officer Wallis
gonna be a happy man or what?
1070
01:25:54,840 --> 01:25:57,760
We've held you too long
by all accounts. Look.
1071
01:25:59,640 --> 01:26:01,200
Oh, no, you can't.
1072
01:26:01,800 --> 01:26:04,520
You can't. Not when I'm settling in so well.
1073
01:26:09,160 --> 01:26:11,640
Take your head off my shoulder, son.
1074
01:26:14,920 --> 01:26:17,160
You don't understand, Paddy.
We can't keep you here.
1075
01:26:17,240 --> 01:26:19,120
It's impossible.
We couldn't even if we wanted to.
1076
01:26:19,200 --> 01:26:22,160
Fuck this, I'm going on a long holiday.
Wife says I need it.
1077
01:26:22,240 --> 01:26:23,440
Come on!
1078
01:26:23,520 --> 01:26:26,640
Come on, just for one day.
It wouldn't kill you.
1079
01:26:26,720 --> 01:26:28,720
Sorry, Paddy. It's impossible.
1080
01:26:29,160 --> 01:26:32,040
-Okay, a half-a-day, please?
-No.
1081
01:26:35,040 --> 01:26:37,160
Look, do you mind me asking?
1082
01:26:37,200 --> 01:26:40,840
I mean, why do you wanna....
I mean, it don't make any sense.
1083
01:26:41,320 --> 01:26:43,880
-It just makes me feel secure.
-Secure?
1084
01:26:44,200 --> 01:26:45,520
Yes, you see, in the cell...
1085
01:26:45,600 --> 01:26:49,280
sometimes I think my legs
are turning into air...
1086
01:26:49,440 --> 01:26:52,440
and I'm floating in space, and I'm all alone.
1087
01:26:52,560 --> 01:26:54,680
"Galactic aloneness," I've heard that called.
1088
01:26:54,760 --> 01:26:56,360
Please, Routledge.
1089
01:26:57,800 --> 01:26:59,560
I just wanna belong.
1090
01:27:00,880 --> 01:27:05,440
I'd be your best prisoner.
I'd cook and I'd clean and I'd sweep...
1091
01:27:05,480 --> 01:27:07,920
and I'd iron all the uniforms. I....
1092
01:27:08,680 --> 01:27:10,520
-Hey, Paddy!
-I just wanna....
1093
01:27:14,320 --> 01:27:16,600
No, I'm afraid it's goodbye now.
1094
01:27:24,000 --> 01:27:27,200
All right, go get that bus there.
1095
01:27:27,920 --> 01:27:29,040
Go on!
1096
01:27:39,880 --> 01:27:42,280
Jennifer Jones and William Holden.
1097
01:27:46,920 --> 01:27:49,160
Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing?
1098
01:27:52,560 --> 01:27:54,600
Have you ever been in love?
1099
01:27:59,320 --> 01:28:01,040
Once I thought I was.
1100
01:28:01,800 --> 01:28:03,480
He was a lucky man.
1101
01:28:07,880 --> 01:28:09,280
I'd pay you.
1102
01:28:11,840 --> 01:28:14,120
I'd give you whatever you wanted.
1103
01:28:15,720 --> 01:28:18,120
Whatever you wanted, I'd give you.
1104
01:29:15,240 --> 01:29:17,520
That's my mammy! That's my mammy!
1105
01:29:19,720 --> 01:29:21,440
Excuse me! Excuse me.
1106
01:29:22,680 --> 01:29:25,000
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
1107
01:29:28,680 --> 01:29:30,800
Excuse me. Excuse me, excuse me.
1108
01:29:41,120 --> 01:29:42,240
Hello!
1109
01:30:15,520 --> 01:30:18,280
Hello, sir. Can I be of assistance?
1110
01:30:18,320 --> 01:30:21,680
I don't do anything heavy,
but aside from that I'd be more....
1111
01:30:22,680 --> 01:30:24,840
I could have you arrested, you know.
1112
01:30:24,880 --> 01:30:27,080
Well, icky-oakie me.
1113
01:30:27,640 --> 01:30:28,800
Get in.
1114
01:30:32,760 --> 01:30:35,120
This is no life
for a young man like you, Patrick.
1115
01:30:35,200 --> 01:30:38,360
Well, cuff me then.
Carry me to my sweet cell.
1116
01:30:38,440 --> 01:30:39,360
No.
1117
01:30:40,280 --> 01:30:42,960
Oh, wait, you're not an actual punter,
are you? How exciting.
1118
01:30:43,040 --> 01:30:47,120
No, it's not.... It's not that either.
It's a lot more serious than that, Patrick.
1119
01:30:47,200 --> 01:30:50,600
Well, of course it is, of course it's serious.
Everything's serious.
1120
01:30:50,680 --> 01:30:53,000
Oh, you're gonna die out there, Paddy!
1121
01:30:57,000 --> 01:30:58,200
I know.
1122
01:31:03,680 --> 01:31:05,960
Why don't you try and get a regular job?
1123
01:31:06,560 --> 01:31:10,000
Well, to tell you the truth, Inspector,
I'm not that employable.
1124
01:31:10,080 --> 01:31:11,520
So I gathered.
1125
01:31:14,920 --> 01:31:16,360
Fucking hell.
1126
01:31:24,040 --> 01:31:25,480
Come with me.
1127
01:31:33,040 --> 01:31:36,480
A group of girls
got themselves off the street, Patrick.
1128
01:31:36,720 --> 01:31:38,240
Set up a co-op.
1129
01:31:38,960 --> 01:31:40,280
What do you mean, "co-op"?
1130
01:31:40,360 --> 01:31:43,840
You know, like.... Sort of like....
A union, you could call it.
1131
01:31:46,040 --> 01:31:47,200
Girls?
1132
01:31:48,480 --> 01:31:50,480
Hello. Come on.
1133
01:31:52,840 --> 01:31:55,640
It's not ideal, but it's safe...
1134
01:31:56,520 --> 01:31:57,760
and legal.
1135
01:31:57,800 --> 01:31:59,040
Casandra.
1136
01:32:00,680 --> 01:32:02,520
Goddess of Destruction.
1137
01:32:04,560 --> 01:32:07,040
-Girls? Hello.
-Hello.
1138
01:32:07,120 --> 01:32:08,200
This is Patrick.
1139
01:32:08,280 --> 01:32:09,720
-Hello, Patrick.
-Hello.
1140
01:32:09,800 --> 01:32:11,840
He's a friend of mine, so be gentle.
Hello, Sam.
1141
01:32:11,880 --> 01:32:14,600
We're always nice.
Patrick, do you wanna play poker?
1142
01:32:14,680 --> 01:32:16,000
Love poker.
1143
01:32:16,480 --> 01:32:18,200
-Yeah, we'll put him in.
-Are you all right?
1144
01:32:18,280 --> 01:32:21,040
-You'll be working with us?
-I hope so. If you'll have me.
1145
01:32:21,120 --> 01:32:22,400
We're a nice bunch here.
1146
01:32:22,440 --> 01:32:25,000
-No bitchiness or nothing here.
-Look at his hair.
1147
01:32:25,080 --> 01:32:27,120
-So where are you from?
-Cavan.
1148
01:32:27,200 --> 01:32:29,600
Very nice. I'm from Dublin.
You'll do well here.
1149
01:32:29,640 --> 01:32:32,560
You'll like us girls.
So you'll definitely like it here.
1150
01:32:37,960 --> 01:32:40,800
Dear Charlie, sorry I haven't been in touch...
1151
01:32:40,840 --> 01:32:43,480
and I hope that everything
is going fine with you.
1152
01:32:43,560 --> 01:32:45,240
How's the bump?
1153
01:32:45,320 --> 01:32:47,880
Just writing to say
that I've got a new address.
1154
01:32:47,960 --> 01:32:50,800
It's Xanadu on Old Compton Street...
1155
01:32:50,920 --> 01:32:53,440
and you can reach me there at any time.
1156
01:32:53,520 --> 01:32:57,200
I'm saving like mad
to get over to see you when it happens in....
1157
01:32:57,280 --> 01:33:00,680
What is it?
Four months, two weeks, and three days.
1158
01:33:01,880 --> 01:33:03,040
Hello.
1159
01:33:03,480 --> 01:33:05,040
Show me your bazoozums.
1160
01:33:05,120 --> 01:33:07,440
-I beg your pardon?
-You know.
1161
01:33:11,840 --> 01:33:13,200
What's that?
1162
01:33:13,440 --> 01:33:17,000
Now, listen, sir,
we can't all have big bazoozums.
1163
01:33:17,080 --> 01:33:19,800
Some of us are what you might call svelte.
1164
01:33:19,920 --> 01:33:23,320
-Svelte?
-Yes. That's a Swedish word, I believe.
1165
01:33:24,400 --> 01:33:27,720
-There's also a French one.
-Aye, give me the French.
1166
01:33:27,760 --> 01:33:29,000
Gamine.
1167
01:33:29,160 --> 01:33:32,200
-Gamine?
-Yes, and that's what I am, sir.
1168
01:33:32,280 --> 01:33:34,160
A svelte gamine.
1169
01:33:35,520 --> 01:33:39,920
How much is that doggy in the window?
1170
01:33:40,600 --> 01:33:44,280
The one with the waggly tail
1171
01:33:44,360 --> 01:33:48,040
Not "waggly," "waggedy." "Waggedy tail."
1172
01:33:49,160 --> 01:33:51,080
Dear sir unseen, I know my music...
1173
01:33:51,120 --> 01:33:55,040
and I'm willing to bet you 10 times
whatever pathetic price you paid in here...
1174
01:33:55,120 --> 01:33:57,600
that the dog's tail is waggly.
1175
01:33:59,160 --> 01:34:01,120
Now I wanna hear you bark.
1176
01:34:11,320 --> 01:34:14,400
-Hello.
-Please don't do that.
1177
01:34:17,880 --> 01:34:19,480
As you wish, sir.
1178
01:34:23,720 --> 01:34:26,680
I don't do this sort of thing often.
1179
01:34:26,760 --> 01:34:29,880
That's all right, sir, we've got lots of time.
1180
01:34:35,920 --> 01:34:40,120
-I knew a boy like you once.
-Oh, I'm not a boy, sir, I'm a girl.
1181
01:34:41,200 --> 01:34:44,680
-Oh, you're a girl.
-Yes.
1182
01:34:45,760 --> 01:34:49,600
You can call me Patricia.
That's my name, sir.
1183
01:34:50,560 --> 01:34:54,880
Can I tell you a story, Patricia?
1184
01:34:54,960 --> 01:34:57,400
Oh, please do. Stories are what I love.
1185
01:34:58,040 --> 01:35:01,320
-You love stories?
-Love stories.
1186
01:35:02,240 --> 01:35:04,160
Even more than mysteries.
1187
01:35:04,480 --> 01:35:07,040
Don't do that, please, please.
1188
01:35:09,480 --> 01:35:11,840
Very well, sir, I'm all ears.
1189
01:35:15,440 --> 01:35:19,840
Once upon a time, there was a boy
who never knew his father and mother.
1190
01:35:20,600 --> 01:35:25,280
Oh, how sad. How unbearably sad.
Was he an unbearably sad little boy?
1191
01:35:26,600 --> 01:35:30,640
He didn't seem so.
No, he laughed. He laughed a lot.
1192
01:35:30,760 --> 01:35:34,880
Perhaps the kind of laughter
that disguises tears?
1193
01:35:36,360 --> 01:35:40,120
Maybe laughter was the only way to...
1194
01:35:43,160 --> 01:35:44,600
deal with....
1195
01:35:46,360 --> 01:35:48,520
Please go on. To deal with....
1196
01:35:49,320 --> 01:35:51,880
To deal with his circumstances.
1197
01:35:54,920 --> 01:35:57,960
You seem to understand this boy
quite well, sir.
1198
01:35:58,960 --> 01:36:00,600
I knew his father.
1199
01:36:03,080 --> 01:36:04,120
And?
1200
01:36:05,000 --> 01:36:06,160
And...
1201
01:36:06,760 --> 01:36:10,280
though his father loved him very much...
1202
01:36:10,360 --> 01:36:14,880
he could never tell the boy how much....
1203
01:36:15,520 --> 01:36:16,720
How much?
1204
01:36:19,920 --> 01:36:23,000
He could never tell the boy
how much he loved him.
1205
01:36:24,280 --> 01:36:26,560
Well, this can't be a true story. It can't be.
1206
01:36:26,600 --> 01:36:27,720
Why not?
1207
01:36:27,800 --> 01:36:30,160
Why could he not tell the boy
how much he loved him?
1208
01:36:30,240 --> 01:36:31,960
Because he didn't know how.
1209
01:36:33,000 --> 01:36:37,760
He had the words for many things, you see,
but he didn't have the words for that.
1210
01:36:37,840 --> 01:36:41,280
There are only three words for that.
They're easy to say.
1211
01:36:41,480 --> 01:36:42,880
Sometimes they are.
1212
01:36:44,120 --> 01:36:46,840
Other times, they're not.
Other times, they're....
1213
01:36:47,080 --> 01:36:48,880
They're impossible.
1214
01:36:50,280 --> 01:36:54,920
And he loved the boy's mother, too,
but that was equally impossible.
1215
01:37:01,320 --> 01:37:03,280
So he never told the boy?
1216
01:37:06,120 --> 01:37:08,840
He never told him and then the boy left...
1217
01:37:09,480 --> 01:37:13,680
and came to England, and the father had...
1218
01:37:21,920 --> 01:37:26,440
lots of time to think about all the things...
1219
01:37:27,440 --> 01:37:31,400
all the things that might have been,
should have been.
1220
01:37:31,840 --> 01:37:34,560
He had all the time in the world to think.
1221
01:37:35,720 --> 01:37:37,760
And what did he think about?
1222
01:37:38,360 --> 01:37:42,880
He thought, he imagined perhaps,
that the boy had come to England...
1223
01:37:42,920 --> 01:37:44,760
Iooking for his mother.
1224
01:37:47,080 --> 01:37:49,320
And what was his mother's name?
1225
01:37:49,840 --> 01:37:53,200
-Her name was Eily. Eily Bergin.
-Oh, God.
1226
01:37:53,800 --> 01:37:56,960
And so the father thought
the one thing he could do...
1227
01:37:57,000 --> 01:37:59,880
was tell him where he could find his mother.
1228
01:38:02,880 --> 01:38:05,840
-Where to find the Phantom Lady?
-What?
1229
01:38:05,920 --> 01:38:07,760
Please, go on.
1230
01:38:08,960 --> 01:38:11,080
She married, had two children.
1231
01:38:11,360 --> 01:38:14,640
-Probably won't want to see him.
-But where does she live?
1232
01:38:15,920 --> 01:38:19,200
19 Spencer Rise, in Kilburn.
1233
01:38:39,480 --> 01:38:41,800
'Cause you know what I want,
I want English...
1234
01:38:41,880 --> 01:38:46,640
-I want conservative, I want East Finchley...
-Yeah.
1235
01:38:46,720 --> 01:38:50,000
...I want powerful.
1236
01:38:50,880 --> 01:38:53,800
-You think it works?
-I think you look better than her.
1237
01:38:54,280 --> 01:38:56,520
-I do look better than her, don't I?
-You do.
1238
01:39:39,680 --> 01:39:41,360
Do you need help, miss?
1239
01:39:43,240 --> 01:39:47,880
Yes, I'm doing a survey for British Telecom.
1240
01:39:49,720 --> 01:39:54,080
-Do you know where 19 Spencer Rise is?
-That's my house. There.
1241
01:39:54,280 --> 01:39:55,680
It's your....
1242
01:39:55,960 --> 01:39:59,720
-Can't you read numbers?
-No, yes, I can read numbers.
1243
01:40:00,760 --> 01:40:02,600
So, what's the survey?
1244
01:40:03,400 --> 01:40:06,320
Well, it's about telephones.
1245
01:40:07,520 --> 01:40:10,400
-Do you have a telephone?
-Everyone has a telephone.
1246
01:40:10,520 --> 01:40:14,440
No, not everyone, young man.
Some people can't afford one.
1247
01:40:14,680 --> 01:40:16,120
Well, we can.
1248
01:40:17,320 --> 01:40:18,480
I see.
1249
01:40:21,960 --> 01:40:24,840
-And so what is your name?
-My name's Patrick.
1250
01:40:27,080 --> 01:40:28,320
Patrick.
1251
01:40:28,880 --> 01:40:30,760
Patrick.
1252
01:40:31,240 --> 01:40:33,160
And how many phones
do you have, Patrick?
1253
01:40:33,200 --> 01:40:35,560
Shouldn't you be asking my mother?
1254
01:40:36,680 --> 01:40:39,240
Yes. Yes, of course I should.
1255
01:40:40,960 --> 01:40:42,680
And where would I find her?
1256
01:40:44,000 --> 01:40:47,120
Mum, there's a nice lady here
doing a survey....
1257
01:40:50,800 --> 01:40:52,640
Are you.... Oh, my God!
1258
01:40:57,080 --> 01:40:59,240
-You feeling better, love?
-Oh, yes, thank you.
1259
01:40:59,280 --> 01:41:01,720
-Some more tea?
-No, thank you.
1260
01:41:03,880 --> 01:41:07,560
So, what's this survey about, then?
1261
01:41:09,560 --> 01:41:13,320
-It's about phones, Mum.
-Phones? With Telecom?
1262
01:41:14,160 --> 01:41:15,920
Yes, British Telecom.
1263
01:41:24,240 --> 01:41:28,040
-Are you a multi-phone household?
-Yes. Yes, we've got three.
1264
01:41:28,200 --> 01:41:31,800
One in the bedroom, one in the kitchen,
and one in Geoffrey's office.
1265
01:41:34,000 --> 01:41:37,360
-Geoffrey....
-Is my husband.
1266
01:41:44,760 --> 01:41:45,920
Sorry.
1267
01:41:49,160 --> 01:41:51,360
How frequently is your telephone used?
1268
01:41:52,680 --> 01:41:56,160
Very. Laura's never off it.
1269
01:41:56,680 --> 01:41:57,880
Laura?
1270
01:41:59,320 --> 01:42:01,760
My daughter. She's 13.
1271
01:42:02,520 --> 01:42:04,200
I see, I see.
1272
01:42:05,120 --> 01:42:07,440
You don't have much use for the phone,
though, do you, Patrick?
1273
01:42:07,520 --> 01:42:09,320
No, I suppose not.
1274
01:42:15,440 --> 01:42:19,400
-Well, Miss....
-Johnson. Delia Johnston.
1275
01:42:19,720 --> 01:42:21,000
Johnston.
1276
01:42:22,520 --> 01:42:25,440
If you've any other questions,
don't hesitate to call.
1277
01:42:26,320 --> 01:42:29,280
No, I think I have more than enough,
thank you.
1278
01:42:34,800 --> 01:42:37,240
-Thank you for the tea.
-Oh, you're welcome.
1279
01:42:37,320 --> 01:42:38,440
Bye.
1280
01:42:57,920 --> 01:43:00,040
Shouldn't you have a uniform?
1281
01:43:01,160 --> 01:43:03,400
No, I shouldn't have a uniform.
1282
01:43:03,720 --> 01:43:06,280
The men who put the phones in
have a uniform.
1283
01:43:06,360 --> 01:43:07,720
Do they, now?
1284
01:43:07,880 --> 01:43:10,600
-Aren't they from Telecom?
-Yes, they are.
1285
01:43:11,400 --> 01:43:13,640
Then how come Telecom don't know
how many phones we have?
1286
01:43:13,720 --> 01:43:16,040
Well, because
it's from a different department.
1287
01:43:16,120 --> 01:43:18,840
Why don't you just phone up, then,
and ask the questions?
1288
01:43:18,920 --> 01:43:21,240
Because there's nothing
like the personal touch, now, is there?
1289
01:43:21,320 --> 01:43:22,280
Why don't--
1290
01:43:22,360 --> 01:43:25,840
Young man,
I get the feeling you don't like me.
1291
01:43:26,680 --> 01:43:29,000
You're wrong. I think you're nice.
1292
01:43:30,920 --> 01:43:33,160
Well, I think you're nice, too.
1293
01:43:33,440 --> 01:43:37,160
-Why are you crying?
-It's conjunctivitis.
1294
01:43:38,240 --> 01:43:41,320
I gave your address to Father Liam,
and I hope you don't mind.
1295
01:43:41,400 --> 01:43:45,200
He's been very kind to me, Kitten,
and I need all the kindness I can get.
1296
01:43:45,480 --> 01:43:48,480
The Special Branch lifted me
on a dope charge, you see.
1297
01:43:48,520 --> 01:43:50,960
And they used that to get to Irwin.
1298
01:43:51,960 --> 01:43:54,320
They lifted Charlie on the dope charge.
1299
01:43:56,120 --> 01:43:58,520
They said she'd be having the baby
in prison, if I didn't--
1300
01:43:58,600 --> 01:44:00,560
If you didn't what, Irwin?
1301
01:44:03,720 --> 01:44:06,400
If I didn't inform them about operations.
1302
01:44:08,480 --> 01:44:09,920
-You do it.
-No, you do it.
1303
01:44:10,000 --> 01:44:12,800
I can't. I went to school with his brother.
1304
01:44:13,080 --> 01:44:14,920
Hey, lads, did you hear the one
about the Cavan man?
1305
01:44:15,000 --> 01:44:17,240
-What Cavan man?
-Cavan man in--
1306
01:45:06,040 --> 01:45:07,800
What will I call you?
1307
01:45:09,040 --> 01:45:10,240
Father.
1308
01:45:13,800 --> 01:45:15,640
You call me "Father." Come in.
1309
01:45:23,200 --> 01:45:24,360
I can't.
1310
01:45:25,520 --> 01:45:28,360
I prayed, you know.
I prayed you'd come back.
1311
01:45:30,040 --> 01:45:31,520
Did you find her?
1312
01:45:31,600 --> 01:45:35,040
Yes. No. Kind of.
1313
01:45:37,600 --> 01:45:39,120
Where's Charlie?
1314
01:45:40,320 --> 01:45:42,240
She's upstairs. Come on.
1315
01:45:46,760 --> 01:45:48,840
After the drugs charge,
there were problems at home...
1316
01:45:48,920 --> 01:45:50,480
so I took her in.
1317
01:45:51,240 --> 01:45:54,120
She hardly eats a thing, you know.
She's wasting away.
1318
01:46:01,480 --> 01:46:03,200
Maybe you could....
1319
01:46:04,520 --> 01:46:07,240
-Where do you sleep, Father?
-Don't worry about me.
1320
01:46:11,720 --> 01:46:12,680
Charlie.
1321
01:46:16,720 --> 01:46:18,440
Is that you, Kitten?
1322
01:46:19,040 --> 01:46:23,080
Charlie. Take it easy now.
1323
01:46:24,080 --> 01:46:25,520
Swann's Cross.
1324
01:46:26,480 --> 01:46:29,760
-They put a rubbish bag over his head.
-Hush, Charlie.
1325
01:46:30,600 --> 01:46:33,000
My parents told me
to go back where I came from.
1326
01:46:33,080 --> 01:46:35,240
Don't think about it, Charlie.
1327
01:46:35,520 --> 01:46:37,920
Your baby, that's all that matters now.
1328
01:46:39,480 --> 01:46:41,400
And I'm here to help you.
1329
01:47:11,360 --> 01:47:14,720
Robins, Father. Would you believe it?
Pecking at the cream.
1330
01:47:14,760 --> 01:47:17,000
I'm sure the poor things must be starved.
1331
01:47:17,080 --> 01:47:18,040
Ta.
1332
01:47:29,360 --> 01:47:32,680
You have your mother's eyes,
do you know that, Patrick?
1333
01:47:33,160 --> 01:47:35,920
Color of the ocean beyond Rosses Point.
1334
01:47:39,760 --> 01:47:41,440
You took her there?
1335
01:47:45,720 --> 01:47:47,080
Many times.
1336
01:47:49,840 --> 01:47:52,480
Things could have been so different.
1337
01:47:53,840 --> 01:47:55,560
Don't say anything.
1338
01:47:57,680 --> 01:48:00,040
Because, you know, the strangest thing...
1339
01:48:00,720 --> 01:48:02,400
I went looking for her...
1340
01:48:03,880 --> 01:48:05,440
but I found you.
1341
01:48:18,240 --> 01:48:20,680
No, in the end it was a blessed release.
1342
01:48:20,760 --> 01:48:24,560
She was a lovely woman.
She never missed a day at Mass.
1343
01:48:24,640 --> 01:48:27,240
When they opened her up,
they found a lump as big as a melon.
1344
01:48:27,320 --> 01:48:29,200
A melon? That big?
1345
01:48:29,600 --> 01:48:32,560
Maybe it was a grapefruit.
I get them mixed up.
1346
01:48:32,760 --> 01:48:36,080
So, we're not exactly blessed with choice,
Father, dear.
1347
01:48:37,200 --> 01:48:40,160
And is there any rule
that says that when you're pregnant...
1348
01:48:40,200 --> 01:48:42,120
you need to dress like a lollipop lady?
1349
01:48:42,200 --> 01:48:45,880
-I know of no such rule, Patrick.
-No, so I thought.
1350
01:48:47,520 --> 01:48:50,680
This little hippy number
might give her the lift she needs.
1351
01:48:50,760 --> 01:48:51,840
Very nice.
1352
01:48:51,880 --> 01:48:53,080
Velvet, Father.
1353
01:48:53,160 --> 01:48:54,840
Like crushed grass.
1354
01:48:55,240 --> 01:48:56,640
Look, Father.
1355
01:49:00,400 --> 01:49:02,640
Oh, can we try the silver fur, missus?
1356
01:49:03,400 --> 01:49:04,840
Is it for yourself?
1357
01:49:07,160 --> 01:49:11,880
Twenty-five different colored Babygros.
Four teddy bears, I can understand...
1358
01:49:12,000 --> 01:49:15,000
-but I don't need a pram yet, Kitten.
-You will.
1359
01:49:15,960 --> 01:49:19,160
-Where did you get the money?
-Oh, singing.
1360
01:49:20,760 --> 01:49:23,760
How much is that doggy in the window?
1361
01:49:24,120 --> 01:49:26,560
The one with the
1362
01:49:27,720 --> 01:49:31,080
-Is it waggedy or waggly, Charlie?
-Waggly.
1363
01:49:32,000 --> 01:49:33,920
No, wait a minute.
1364
01:49:34,080 --> 01:49:36,600
-Oh, Father?
-Yes.
1365
01:49:36,680 --> 01:49:41,440
You know the doggy with the tail?
Is it waggly or waggedy?
1366
01:49:41,680 --> 01:49:42,920
The song?
1367
01:49:43,760 --> 01:49:47,520
Waggedy, I seem to remember.
Your mother never stopped singing it.
1368
01:49:47,560 --> 01:49:48,880
Aye, waggedy tail.
1369
01:49:48,960 --> 01:49:50,040
Waggedy.
1370
01:49:50,120 --> 01:49:53,960
How much is that doggy in the window?
1371
01:49:54,080 --> 01:49:57,600
The one with the waggedy tail
1372
01:49:58,000 --> 01:50:01,480
How much is that doggy in the window?
1373
01:50:01,560 --> 01:50:03,880
Oh, Jesus Christ and his holy mother.
1374
01:50:04,560 --> 01:50:06,640
-Why doesn't the Bishop do something?
-The Bishop!
1375
01:50:06,720 --> 01:50:08,920
The Bishop we have isn't worth a damn.
1376
01:50:09,000 --> 01:50:12,000
-What did she say...?
-The Bishop isn't worth a damn!
1377
01:50:12,280 --> 01:50:13,760
Now mind your language missus
1378
01:50:23,720 --> 01:50:25,600
Do you know something, Thomas?
1379
01:50:25,680 --> 01:50:28,760
There are times
when I wish I was a bus conductor.
1380
01:52:44,120 --> 01:52:46,240
...the welfare state and all.
1381
01:52:46,280 --> 01:52:48,240
Can't stay here, anyways.
1382
01:52:48,360 --> 01:52:51,200
But you'll come and see us, Father?
After the baby's--
1383
01:52:51,280 --> 01:52:56,080
Well, the only parish I've been offered
is in Kilburn, so you might see a lot of me.
1384
01:53:04,520 --> 01:53:06,520
You saved my life, Father.
1385
01:53:08,600 --> 01:53:09,840
And mine.
1386
01:53:15,360 --> 01:53:17,320
Great, big, fireproof man.
1387
01:53:35,000 --> 01:53:38,080
Come on, Charlie, push! Push!
1388
01:53:38,120 --> 01:53:40,640
I am pushing, Kitten, fuck you!
1389
01:53:40,680 --> 01:53:42,640
-I am pushing!
-Breathe.
1390
01:53:42,720 --> 01:53:44,800
-Jesus!
-Come on.
1391
01:53:45,040 --> 01:53:46,720
It's tearing me apart!
1392
01:53:56,320 --> 01:53:59,040
Hey, you're the telephone lady.
1393
01:54:01,640 --> 01:54:05,120
If it isn't the young boy
from the multi-phone household.
1394
01:54:05,320 --> 01:54:06,520
What are you doing here?
1395
01:54:06,600 --> 01:54:10,560
Mum's with the doctor.
She's, you know, got a bun in the fireplace.
1396
01:54:12,560 --> 01:54:16,200
-I think you mean the oven, young man.
-Okay, then, the oven.
1397
01:54:16,360 --> 01:54:17,960
What's your name?
1398
01:54:22,280 --> 01:54:23,720
Phantom Lady.
1399
01:54:24,320 --> 01:54:27,560
-That's a funny name.
-I know that. I'm a funny lady.
1400
01:54:28,840 --> 01:54:32,400
-Is that your baby?
-No, it's hers.
1401
01:54:34,640 --> 01:54:37,400
She's having her fireplace checked.
1402
01:54:37,960 --> 01:54:40,240
Isn't she? Yes, she is.
1403
01:54:41,480 --> 01:54:44,560
-Charlie, darling, this is--
-Patrick.
1404
01:54:45,360 --> 01:54:47,320
This is my young friend Patrick.
1405
01:54:47,720 --> 01:54:49,600
So, how's your fireplace?
1406
01:54:52,840 --> 01:54:57,480
And your little bun is just fine, too,
aren't you? Yes, you are.
1407
01:55:03,400 --> 01:55:07,080
Patrick, there's your mum. You'd better run.
1408
01:55:07,600 --> 01:55:08,680
Okay.
1409
01:55:09,400 --> 01:55:12,760
Patrick, will you tell her that...
1410
01:55:13,160 --> 01:55:17,560
the telephone lady says
that she hopes it's a girl this time.
1411
01:55:17,640 --> 01:55:19,240
-Okay.
-Okay.
1412
01:55:33,560 --> 01:55:37,400
-She looks nothing like Mitzi Gaynor
-What do you know about Mitzi Gaynor?
1413
01:55:37,640 --> 01:55:39,880
Nothing. But as Oscar Wilde said...
1414
01:55:40,120 --> 01:55:44,280
I love talking about nothing. It's the
only thing I know anything about